finding my way in this blogesphere ( about me)

Damn originality is hard work!!  I'm trying to have a direction with my blog. I think I want it to be mainly about our lives through the immigration process and me navigating the awesome roller coaster motherhood is. I will try to post daily but if your reading, you can count on new posts of L(pics..my thoughts on co-sleeping, BLW, All around attachment parenting)on tuesdays & Fridays. Also I have picked up a few new hobbies (Trifting & Diy) I still have to find some true and original ideas to me but for now I will be completing Ideas from @Pinterest.com. My new passion in life is photography and hope to fill this page with awesome photos.

awesome find foe my collection

Lucas' birthstory : ]

brought over from wordpress old blog....
ENJOY!!

About 4 weeks… Since then my life has completely changed. I am the proud mother of a lovely 8Lbs 7 oz baby boy. He probably weighs more now but that was his birth weight. I can’t even begin to describe how tremendously happy I am. Although my sleep is non existent and i’m a bit overwhelmed, every time I look at his gorgeous hazel eyes i see life as a whole. I see a future in running around chasing him. God gave me this beautiful gorgeous child and i couldn’t ask for more. Through my pregnancy I was a devoted Webmd boardie, lol . I shared all my fears and concerns with other amazing pregnant women, who never failed in offering the best advice ever. I am however so sad over not being able to post my birthstory on there,Over the course of my nine months I dreamed of one day having my own story to write about and boy was it a crazy day . I tried over 4 times to post  and failed. So since i could post on there I will do it here.

June 28 th , Early labor contractions begin at 6:00 a.m. I was so paranoid that they wouldn’t intensify or that they would stop for that matter.

June 29th , (5:30 ish a.m.) Finally contractions get close enough to call my doctor. He gives me directions to head to hospy, I wake hubby up. Take shower & eat a pb & j sandwich while breathing and concentrating. We packed the car and said goodbye to our dog lola, I get extremely emotional and begin sobbing because i knew next time i see her we’ll have our little babe with us.

(7:00) After a quick stay in triage to check if we really were in labor we were finally admitted to L&D the next couple of hours were really boring just laying there. I forgot of my plan to wait until i could no longer breathe through my contractions to go to the hospy, I guess I  was so excited and wanting this baby out that as soon as i got the ok i rushed there lol.

(10:00) still a.m. my Dh and i walked the halls I forgot to mention I was admitted at a measly 3cm…WAH!!!! At this point I asked if i would be able to use the water tubs since i knew how well water had worked with me when i had my very painful BHC, and early labor. She said i wasn’t in one of those rooms unfortunately but that there was always the shower..Ugh i was so upset, that was my main birth plan if i was to have this baby pain med- free.  While in the halls I saw my doc and he said to head to bed to check if i made any progress in the 3 hours that i’ve been here… Nope I was still at 3 : /.. My pain was about a 5 very manageable i was laughing through my contractions and watching Seinfeld along w/ my DH.

(12:00) Since I wasn’t gonna get to go into my tub i asked for the birthing ball, just to keep me busy ; D. I ate a popsicle since i was starving while i sat there rocking back and forth. Nothing exciting seemed to be happening, not like I imagined at least..or movie like hahaha. The exhaustion of constantly keeping track of my contractions the previous night was setting in. I returned to bed to try and rest, the pain wasn’t bad so sleeping seemed like a great idea. After a while of being in the bed i heard a loud POP!!! and a gush of water streamed down my legs, I couldn’t believe my water broke spontaneously , since i had heard only 10% of pregnancies end in the water breaking..oh boy was that unexpected. That was movie like lol. My nurse checked me and I had gained a cm. That’s it really?? frustration was setting in along with exhaustion .

(2:00) p.m. Woa baby, only two hours after water broke my pain went from a 5 to a 9  . I started sobbing and my dh was distant, I think he didn’t wanna see me in pain. My mom was really supportive and all mom like lol, she rubbed my back and was telling me to focus. Nothing was helping though, I was sinking in and giving up on my pain.. I had to constanly empty my bladder and it was painful. I was sobbing and not breathing through my contractions, my focus was not there and soon after I asked for my epidural. I didn’t feel that immediate relief some speak of, of course it would happen to me , my epi only worked on my left side. I also felt nauseuous and felt as if i had drank 5 cups of coffe, my heart was speeding it was gross. Having one side slightly numb was a break and it was manageable enough like before my water broke. The anesthsiologist was called back to see what he could do. Since this wasn’t supposed to happen. Finally it was all numb and i was just a little sick. At this point all that matter was that my baby was doing well which he was. Again everything went back to boring just waiting, and hoping my contractions would do their job and i wouldn’t need any more meds.

( 5:00) still trying to rest and couldn’t , I wanted to meet my baby but had to be patient. At this point they checked me again and gave me a catheter i was a 8 cm station -2!!! phew, i was so happy i wouldn’t need any pitocin. My contractions were off the radar and were looking like a heartbeat on the monitor lol. At least that was good. My dh had forgotten to patrol the door and there were 5 ppl in there. ( m.i.l., sis, auntie, mom and him) all watching me try to rest..awkward.

(6:00) They checked me after an hour to see if i was closer or had any change..and yes i was at 9 and almost fully effaced : ) ..i was getting more nervous, soon after my right side returned and i was feeling soo much pain , and constant pressure all along my back and right pelvic side. I was back at breathing through the pain that was constant and no breaks in between, I told my nurse about it and she said they would administer any more pain meds since i was so close to ten and it would allow me to push effectively. Soon after my dad and brother walked in and he saw me in pain lol, I couldn’t believe all these people were there watching me. My dad was so excited and told me that he was so proud of me and that i could do this..my little brother was petrified lol. he didn’t even approach my uncomfortable ass .

(7:00) My lovely nurse came back and cheched me..She said i was done , i was at 10 and could start pushing at anytime. I felt so much pressure from my right side and needed to push , They kicked everyone out quickly except my DH and mom. They set up the stirrups and my mom and dh took their place on both sides of me. I was soon gonna meet my babe.

(7:30) I started pushing , not very effectively i guess . That part is a little blurry, I remember the window was opened and the sun was starting to set, i was so hungry and thirsty. It was kinda fun at the beginning I felt him pushing against my ribcage. The nurses were encouraging and they were joking along with my dh, in between contractions.  The first hour passed by and i could see a tiny bit of hair, over the light acting as my mirror.

(8:30) Second Hour of pushing , yes 2nd hour!! I couldn’t believe my baby was still not out, I was beggining to give up a little. I was so tired ,it was incredibly frustrating knowing that i couldn’t push him out as quick as i thought it was gonna happen. Again another expectation out the window. My nurse was awesome though she kept on massaging my perinium and she’s the reason i only had one stich :  ). They turned me on my side and i tried to push that way , just to see if i made so progress. It worked a little but i like pushing on the stirrups better. Soon after my nurse told me they were gonna turn off my epi on my left side to see if i could push better and to try to prevent a c-sec.

(9;30) My annoying 3rd hour of pushing began with no hope, I couldn’t even push all trough the counts I gave up at 7, I coudn’t breathe.. I remember being in soo much pain I could see his head way more but i couldn’t get past the so called “ring of fire” it was excrusiating.My nurse had the idea of doing tug of war with a baby blanket to help with pushing. I exageratte but i tell people I felt like i was crowning for a bout an hour. Honest to god I gave up sooo many times , I felt like i couldn’t push him out!! I was done i needed help , at this point my dh was the most supportive and if it wasn’t for him i would have been done after hour 1 and have had way more tearing from forceps or vacumm. I really asked for both but he kept saying you can do this babe!!! he was so encouraging but i still felt like this wouldn’t happen for me ..I wanted to go home and be done with this LMAO!!!.. After  so much pushing and pain I gave this push that would be the one that got him out, I was no longer looking at anything I remember they were shouting LOOK DOWN LOOK DOWN !!! His head was out ..it was surreal and amazing , can i just say what relief i felt. He came out sunny side up which was why i was having such hard time pushing him out also my arms were shot from all that pulling. The cord was wrapped around his neck and that was terrifying because he wasn’t crying, I just saw his eyes wide open but dh couldn’t cut the cord and i wasn’t able to have skin to skin right after they had to clear his air ways and then i heard a little wimper .. They cleaned him up and stiched me up and i got to hold my beautiful little boy..oh btw when they said it’s A BOY i knew it all along inmy heart.

I was elated and in shock, I was so proud of myself to be able to get him out without any help feeling all that I felt : D . I’m so thankful that even though I gave up so many times my dh kept pushing me. My baby was born at 10:55 on his due date. Another small percentage of women lol i’m an elite..lol in all sorts of special clubs.

My recovery was quick and painless, um i lied my arms were killing me Seriously!!! I couldn’t lift them for about a week thats how hard i was pulling..I am happy and blesssed and i wouldn’t change a thing. I’m thinking next time i’ll hire a doula to keep me focused and help me breathe . I didn’t wait to BF he latched on soo quick and yes it was painful and i was exhausted from the labor but he stayed in the room with us the whole time. It was perfect. excuse all the grammar errors and the rambling i’m so excited to be able to finally share my Birthstory , can’t wait to do it again in a couple of years for now i’ll enjoy my kiddo , his wonderful scent and those adorable tiny toes..Motherhood is amazing : D

7mos Post-pregnancy

Before baby! Wasn't my hair awesome..it bagan thinning out after this

 Some days I feel defeated. I feel like I'm looking at another person in the mirror. The baby blues are not something that worry me now because I feel happy through the day. It is something serious thought, I had a little bit of the baby blues a week after Lucas came home. I was very sad all the time, I argued with my hubs for every little thing. If he had something to say I started crying.I felt like I wasn't doing a good enough job with L.The moment I realized this wasn't me, I was sitting in a Jewel parking lot crying my eyes out. It was the first time we had officially taken L out and it was the fourth of July. The fireworks started and if you know me you know how much I love them, but I was sitting there with a sleeping newborn and I was just sobbing.My hubby had gone into Jewel to get a couple of things. I needed help.Thankfully it only lasted those crazy first weeks. In retrospect, I have no idea how we survived. I don't mean that in a scary way, I don't think I had it heavy enough where I was contemplating harming my baby or me.I do know that those sheets at the gyno's office where they ask you to rate your sadness, kinda helped because after a while I knew I was a little happier. It's very scary to know how prevalent it is and how many women don't get help. It is true that when you are in it you don't realize how much it affects you.

With that said, some days I feel very ugly.I'm not depressed because I have so much fun with my boy. We laugh and play, I do silly noises. We sit on the potty and sing the potty song. I laugh with the hubs and we have a not so often intimate life but I enjoy it :)..(he will kill me for writing this but it's true) I have dropped all my baby weight and more, and that honestly is a problem. My jeans fit way to big, I know this is gonna sound like poor me! Who the hell complains about loss of weight.? I don't have money to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.So I think I may have to indulge in a little ice cream and chocolate to fill my pants out. Also my hair is thinner and falling out. I was very proud of my hair and now I look like a little lion with tons of tiny little hair all around. I feel ugly. I know it's not permanent but its not what I imagined me as a mom. I guess when we're pregnant we have so many expectations of what motherhood will be like. All of those have been shattered for me. Being a mom is far more rewarding and far more exhausting that I thought. Hopefully I can take a little more time to comb my hair and feel a least a little better, can't wait for spring and for those little hair buds to grow ... :   ] Adri

Checking in

It seems we can't get rid of this crazy cold thing that is going around and round. My husband wasn't feeling well last week after our L got over the mild pneumonia, now mom has a cold thing and i think it's making it's way toward L.
So I recently have started to share my blog with others that follow me on pinterest and maybe they have read it and maybe not. If they have then they have began reading of my "status". I'm not sure why it's so hard for me to say that word but I hope that they don't judge. Most people don't even know I speak Spanish, for a while I was very ashamed and embarrassed of my situation. Now I have began embracing my struggles and love sharing them with this blog. So we have began speaking with some lawyers, One of them said that I may even have to go to Mexico until they allowed me to come back legalized. I DON'T THINK SO BUDDY!. I can't imagine that the government would allow something so mean. We have a child I can't just go to Mexico. Although I would love a vacation, the farthest I've travelled to has been Wisconsin. Still I can't just pack up and go.

 The immigration community is so vast and supportive If I may say. I've read stories of students who have been backed by whole communities when they are about to get deported(what a nasty word). Unfortunately not everyone is as lucky. I understand that those over here without legalization have broken the law and that isn't right. I do however know that now that I am a mom I would sacrifice so much for Lucas. I would do what my parents did. In order to keep him safe and give him opportunities I would go to a different land even if i didn't speak the language, even if it meant I may get in trouble. I guess I just want to thank these two>>
for doing what they did. My dad still struggles with the language, can you imagine understanding 10% of what people say. Still they get up, go to work. I love you both to pieces..I know they would kill me if they knew I posted this pic since they have been divorced for about 10 yrs now. I don't say it enough Thank you mamy & pa :)

oficially crazy for deals

the story of LOLA...

In this blog i hope to cover all the things I love, the people that make me want to better myself and the two greatest heartbreaks of my life so far( I wish to not have anymore but I know it's life being life). One of those heartbreaks was the death of my dog Lola. As I begin to write this my eyes are beginning to water and my heart aches. I lost her right after Thanksgiving, She was with me through it all, honestly the only ear I had at one point. She loved me and I her unconditionally. I got her as a birthday present from and ex-boyfriend back in 2008. She was so fluffy and cute, I've always wanted a dog but they are expensive. Plus we have always lived crammed and in a No pets apartments. When i took her home she was kinda feisty, she had to learn that she wasn't the boss. Even though I treated her as my child I knew she was a dog and she had rewards and discipline. She was with me and offered me comfort through my first big heart brake. I remember sitting on the floor crying and her licking my tears away. She didn't ask for anything it was like she knew that I was down and just needed to be loved. Her death is such a touchy subject around my own home and anywhere else. You see we moved and soon after the lady in charge of the apt complex let us know that it was a no dogs place. We asked my mother in law to take her in and she agreed. I saw her once a week, for her sake. I got it in my head that the less I saw her the better to not confuse her, I know regret not visiting her more often. Anyway she apparently got sick, I was told of her being sick the night before she passed. We had so many ups and downs with her, hearing of her not being well brought anxiety upon me, mainly because of our money troubles. When I was pregnant she broke her lag due to a faulty and very heavy door that fell on her. Those few months were horrible I cried so much because she was in pain, not to mention I was preggo and emotional. We went broke paying her vet bills. Thank god for family and them helping us out, specially my mom. So again hearing of her not being well I just began thinking of all the money we were gonna have to dish out to get her well again. We went to sleep with the words from my husband  that Lola was lethargic but she managed to get up for him and drink a little water and she should be feeling better soon. I should have known then and followed my instincts and take her in to the vet. You see I'm known for over reacting, I wanna asses every situation and fix it even if it isn't broken. My husband isn't like that. It wasn't any ones  fault that lola got sick. I have struggled with this though, I honestly still have a heavy heart when it comes to blaming someone. I knew she wouldn't be taken care of the way I could have taken care of her in my house. The morning after I was told she was sick I will always remember. I was laying down sleeping and i heard my hubs come in, His face scared me. I asked promptly what has happened, he looked at me and said lola hadn't made it. I remember retrieving to my blanket and not showing any emotion. I couldn't cry. I just lay there taking it all in. At this point Lucas had woken up and I began sobbing soon after. She was gone, without me seeing her or saying good bye. I was very angry and I think I still am. Yet I don't think I'm allowed too, It was just a dog. She was my dog, maybe i'm guilty of loving her to much. This was going to happen eventually! why wasn't i prepared.? She was too young!.. I blame me for most of it, even though others didn't handle it well. As soon as my husband told me of my dog's actions and the way she was behaving I should have at that moment drove myself to my M.i.l. and seen that she wasn't well and immeditaly taken her in. But I didn't and the reason was to not get looked at like the crazy dog lady, who over thinks everthing and worries to much. I will hold that over my head forever. If your wondering why a death of a pet has affected me so, then you've never loved an animal.

L is getting ready to crawl

Right now he's laying there screaming because he hasn't yet figured out how to go forward but he's so close!

I can't say I'm looking forward to the crawling because it means he's getting way toooo big! the walking comes next and then we don't even call mom to say hello. Ok so I may be exagerating a tad bit much but I miss him being a tiny little nugget. Nursing now is a big challenge because I don't know how to hold him, he contorts his body and twist and turns all around. The only thing that is to my advantage that he's surprisingly late on is teeth! Thank god. He has tried biting me with his little gums and yes it hurts but I can't Imagine it hurts as much as little teeth.Everytime he learns something new it's awesome don't get me wrong, but I wanna stop time sometimes and snuggle with my little Lucas and hope he skips those awful teen years that are to come.. Whoa I really get ahead of myself, I guess instead I should pray he gives me a break during the terrible 2's.

THRIFTING LOVE!

Growing up my mom always took us to Bronco, a thrift shop right across from where we lived..I loved it,there was nothing like this back in Mexico.It was full of cool stuff and we always managed to get in trouble for moving everything!. After a while of living in the U.S. I got the memo from my peers that you shouldn't shop there "That was where the poor kids shopped" Well I was poor but I wasn't about to let them know. Of course as I got older everything embarrassed me, and being forced to shop there for clothes made me feel ashamed and very very sad for myself..WA!!! i was a big baby!... Today I can say proudly that I'm a thrifter! I go in there almost every week, to see what new treasures I can find...

So far ....

Center frame, Free

Cool new earrings, $1.00 each

Industrial cool looking side table..$3.00

Sweet day with my two boys !

Lucas tasted tomato for the first time

romantic

My two loves

From Panama with love

I guess we're living longer..Great Grandson cards really!! Love
them

Ah Valentines, It's honestly the first year we haven't been sooo broke that we can't go eat out. I had a great day with my two loves. L enjoyed some tomato and steak.. Mommy had a Carne Asada platter, delish. Dad had shreded steak tacos. The ambiance was great, there was a guy with a guitar and he played a song for L, boy was he excited. I've heard about these restaurants that ban children and I'm hoping I never experience anyone telling me that I can't bring my baby to their establishment. Anyway, we had a great time, We later visited Gg Schwabe, Auntie Eileen needless to say they got an awesome Valentine..Lucas :)

Lucas Valentine card

I made a DIY Lucas Valentine card..

I used a blanket for back drop
old broken sunglasses without lenses
took old red envelopes made hearts& bowtie (re-cycling :)
a little picassa editing
and there you go..

happy valentines everyone

What is working and not working with Lucas :)

7 mos bf :)

Lucas is breastfed and loves it....I breastfeed my child, and yes I do think breast is best.I understand it doesn't come easy for some women, there is so much that can make bf soo hard like latch, amount of milk, work, pumping, sleeplessness. I don't judge Moms, breastfeeding is a very personal choice. I actually never thought I'd be bf myself but it worked for me and I wouldn't have it any other way. It does however take a bit of sacrifice from the mom, but if your committed and love your babe it doesn't seem like that. I plan to bf now until L is ready to part with it..there i said it. In the past I've said that i wouldn't do it past 12 months but it was only because i was getting bullied to think it was gross to bf a tot. As L is growing my convictions are growing and I may stand up to those bullies one day.

Lucas eats with his hands, not with me feeding him(master of holding itty bitty cheerios)....I'm allowing my babe to self-feed (baby-led weaning) I think it improves and helps his motor skills and allows him to have fun and experience foods textures. I was worried about choking! I'm a first time mom so everything under the sun worries me. At 4 months I started wit mushy cereal to make sure he could swallow, and yes it turned out he could. To date he has tried a variety of food from strawberries to steak and chicken. I allow for time and to see if allergies do arise. Since he has a protein allergy to milk I have stayed away from cheeses and milk, At about 2 1/2 months the pediatrician gave me an ultimatum, to either go on a lactose free diet or I would have to stop bf and have him go on a soy based formula...needless to say I had to completely change my diet around. It has helped me loose the extra baby weight, at least. I'll wait until after 10 month to start giving him yogurt and other milk products.

Lucas goes in the potty (work in progress)....We have began doing Infant potty training, basically reading into his cues and placing him on the potty for him to go. I didn't expect to have poop the first time and I did. He has done well for his first week, he doesn't fuss or cry and in one day I've wasted about 2 diapers. The goal is to get him to be diaper less at 18 months but no pressure.It's one of the reasons I don't really wanna talk about it, except to my family. I was reading that the average tot isn't fully potty trained until age 4! wow!. We'll see how this pans out, as long as he's content we will keep this going.

Lucas sleeps w/ mom & pop( Not working for us )....oh and Co-sleeping, It is greatly shunned by Pd's because of the SIDS risk, again something I'd never think I'd try because of the risk.When done correctly it's very effective in getting baby to sleep, It has worked for us but it's time to get Lucas back to his crib. I can't sleep like this anymore, he's too big and I'm sore..
All mothers are different I have to say that I really enjoy being a mom. You have to do what works

How do i know my baby is sick?

Does he behave differently? A little, but something far more unexpected ..HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.. well well, let's not get ahead of ourselves Adri. I'm still co-sleeping with wanting to transition onto his bed due to lack of space.I took Lucas in on friday because he had a serious cough followed by vomit, the doctor said it was mild pneumonia and wanted to keep an eye on it.He was prescribed some anti-biotics and basically a free pass on the whole No-tears approach momma is trying to get him back into his bed. Well Friday night to my surprise we only woke up with coughs not wanting to feed although I know it probably has to do with his body protecting him and wanting more rest outa him. Still, not being woken up to feed is quite a shock. I'd think that if he was sick i'd be up literally ALL night!. Last night he slept 5 whole hours un interrupted followed by a small feeding then back to sleep until 7:30 am when the cough-vomit began again. Not sure if we'll make a habit out of this wonderful sleep but all I want is for him to get better.

How i told my husband

Even though I'm still feeling pretty elated of sharing my status with umm probably no one reading I have to keep up with it and more posting about our family dynamics. My husb is an American citizen, He's in fact a mutt though.He has some Irish-Polish blood and some Mexican in him, fifth generation so no Spanish. We dated for for about 6 months before i told him about my status. I mean, you really don't go around saying this stuff!. He was my boss, so if it didn't work out I didn't want to get fired so i kept it a secret, until i knew he was the one for me. I broke the news to him over what else, a text.! He couldn't  believe it, "But your so Americanized " he added. Of course this didn't change how he felt about me, he actually got really protective and I drove less and less.We always joked how I was opportunistic gold digger and was marrying him for his money(we're broke lol) but more importantly his status..ha! You'd be surprised how many people actually marry for this specific reason. I have a friend who only dates citizens, it's part of the culture. Growing up at least in our household I always heard "You better marry a citizen" is this crazy or what.? Actually, I once had a guy I was dating (he's white) ask me to marry him! honest to god!! just so i would get my visa and go to school. He was such a sweetheart but I couldn't do that. To me marriage is a sacred, the vows I exchanged with my love mean the world to me and i hope to be with him for life!. So we will begin tackling this pesky situation slowly, and hopefully I get my residency and then my citizenship.

Be genuine, be original, be you!

I have been struggling with ending this blog. I've asked my self the following, What is the point of this blog? Do you want to write about just baby L? Is it a family blog? Is our life to boring for a blog?...And pretty much concluded that yes! My life is too damn boring for a blog. I'm a mom (wow so is a lot of women) I'm a wife ( ditto) I'm Mexican (yup) I'm an Illegal immigrant..... So there it is, a truth that I rarely share with strangers and the one thing that is trully me. I have been pushing myself to be more authentic with people. I've always struggled to be me and although I'm still searching I think i'm getting there little by little.

I was born In Juarez Chihuahua, Mexico on July 19, 1989.My story is one of many, the typical going north for more opportunities. I didn't come to the U.S. until I was 8, I am the oldest of four.I remember my life in Juarez being easy, much simpler. I remember being by myself a lot of the time, My brother is 5 years younger. I have always hated being an illegal as long as I can remember. When I was in high school I didn't try as hard as I should have because I knew there was no future in school for me. My parents brought me up with the belief that I wouldn't be able to go to school due to my "status". So I cruised. If you've ever heard of my native city then you know it's full of violence and crime. I have always been an asshole to my parents for bringing me here, for ripping me away from my roots as i so lovingly said one night to them. What would I be doing in Juarez I constantly wonder. Excuse me if this sounds like a jumble of words. It is. I can even being to write down what it means to be ILLEGAL. How much it sucks when you have to provide identification at a local bar to enjoy your first over 21 beer, and they say Nope sorry not valid here. You can't drive..still do. You can't travel..still haven't. I miss my grandma so much.She really raised me, my mom was always working my dad was in the U.S. The actual only vivid memory I have of my dad is of him prying me away from my bike, which was being repossed!!! My younger sis has been here since she was 9 months old, Do you think she feels Mexican? Nope she is an American. She loves this country. She goes to school. She knows she's illegal too.My brother is an excellent student, if anyone deserves to go to college is him!. My middle sis is more like me, not here nor there.Still all she knows is this country, she was one and a half.

Now to my present. I've been married for about 2 years know my husband for 4, we fell in love got pregnant, lost that little babe, grieved our love got stronger. Tried for a baby again with a heavy heart. Our rainbow baby was born June 29.. We soon have to start the immigration process and I have to say I'm a little nervous. Mainly because I broke the law. While I had no say in coming here, let me just say that I entered legally I just overstayed my visa. I know in order to keep going forward I have to get my shit together. I must fight to remain where i've grown up. I must fight to better myself and help my husband out. I wanna go back to school to be a photographer and graphic designer. I wanna accomplish my goals. I want to visit my grandma in Juarez.I will keep you posted on my Immigration trails