I have been struggling with ending this blog. I've asked my self the following, What is the point of this blog? Do you want to write about just baby L? Is it a family blog? Is our life to boring for a blog?...And pretty much concluded that yes! My life is too damn boring for a blog. I'm a mom (wow so is a lot of women) I'm a wife ( ditto) I'm Mexican (yup) I'm an Illegal immigrant..... So there it is, a truth that I rarely share with strangers and the one thing that is trully me. I have been pushing myself to be more authentic with people. I've always struggled to be me and although I'm still searching I think i'm getting there little by little.
I was born In Juarez Chihuahua, Mexico on July 19, 1989.My story is one of many, the typical going north for more opportunities. I didn't come to the U.S. until I was 8, I am the oldest of four.I remember my life in Juarez being easy, much simpler. I remember being by myself a lot of the time, My brother is 5 years younger. I have always hated being an illegal as long as I can remember. When I was in high school I didn't try as hard as I should have because I knew there was no future in school for me. My parents brought me up with the belief that I wouldn't be able to go to school due to my "status". So I cruised. If you've ever heard of my native city then you know it's full of violence and crime. I have always been an asshole to my parents for bringing me here, for ripping me away from my roots as i so lovingly said one night to them. What would I be doing in Juarez I constantly wonder. Excuse me if this sounds like a jumble of words. It is. I can even being to write down what it means to be ILLEGAL. How much it sucks when you have to provide identification at a local bar to enjoy your first over 21 beer, and they say Nope sorry not valid here. You can't drive..still do. You can't travel..still haven't. I miss my grandma so much.She really raised me, my mom was always working my dad was in the U.S. The actual only vivid memory I have of my dad is of him prying me away from my bike, which was being repossed!!! My younger sis has been here since she was 9 months old, Do you think she feels Mexican? Nope she is an American. She loves this country. She goes to school. She knows she's illegal too.My brother is an excellent student, if anyone deserves to go to college is him!. My middle sis is more like me, not here nor there.Still all she knows is this country, she was one and a half.
Now to my present. I've been married for about 2 years know my husband for 4, we fell in love got pregnant, lost that little babe, grieved our love got stronger. Tried for a baby again with a heavy heart. Our rainbow baby was born June 29.. We soon have to start the immigration process and I have to say I'm a little nervous. Mainly because I broke the law. While I had no say in coming here, let me just say that I entered legally I just overstayed my visa. I know in order to keep going forward I have to get my shit together. I must fight to remain where i've grown up. I must fight to better myself and help my husband out. I wanna go back to school to be a photographer and graphic designer. I wanna accomplish my goals. I want to visit my grandma in Juarez.I will keep you posted on my Immigration trails
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